Lost for Words
by bellblueeyes
Summary: Tony/Ziva Post Obsession fic.


Disclaimer: Not mine.

Takes place a day or two after **Obsession.** Early stages of established Tiva, aka since **Jetlag**. After the events of **Obsession,** Ziva is pissed and Tony is avoiding her.

He spends the night alone with a bottle of bourbon deciding how to avoid her. She spends the night sharpening her knife, deciding which of her many ways to kill him.

The next morning he arrives right on time, and before she can open her mouth, he grabs his backpack and follows Gibbs out on a lead, leaving the paperwork to her.

2 hours later and he returns, to the sight of Ziva abusing the copy machine, cursing in Hebrew whilst McGee slumps lower into his chair.

"She's been like this since the two of you left-"

Ziva's fist makes contact with the glass door of the copy room, shattering it into a million pieces, creating a pile of glass and blood splattered on the floor.

It seems like a lifetime before the silence is broken by the growl of a pissed of Gibbs. "David, go home" he orders, and with a scoff Ziva heads to the elevator, shooting DiNozzo the death stare on the way out. "DiNozzo, clean it up."

"What-" Tony whined, only to be met with the all too familiar slap to the back of his head.

"You did something to piss her off. Clean this up," Gibbs points to the puddle of blood and glass, "and then go sort it out."

He arrives at her place 45 minutes later. Her door is unlocked and slightly open, so he doesn't bother to knock. _Not that she'd answer anyways._ He thought to himself.

As he quietly shuts the door of the silent apartment behind him, her voice almost gives him a heart attack.

"Was she any good?"

He turns to find Ziva sitting silently on the couch in an old sweatshirt, her bare legs pulled up to her chest, slightly messy curls framing her emotionless face.

"Who?-" As soon as the word fell from his mouth, he wishes he could take it back. And when he sees her eyes narrow and jaw clench, he really regrets it.

"I was referring to Brenda." Her words are cold, but her eyes flicker with vivid emotions. She slowly rises from the couch, like an animal waiting to attack their prey. "But you answer implies I also need to ask about someone else," Walking towards him, Tony had never felt so scared of his former Mossad partner, not since Israel when she had him at gunpoint. "Dana, I assume, unless-" she glared at him, daring him to admit otherwise.

"No. Just Dana." The words come out like a whisper.

"And Brenda?" Her voice became cloggy.

All he could do was nod. And when the tears started springing from her eyes, he had to turn away.

"Did Paris mean nothing to you? Did Somalia, mean nothing to you?" By now the tears were flowing down her cheeks like a waterfall.

He turned to look at her."Ziva, no-"

"Do I mean nothing to you?"

He wondered if he had fucked things up so badly that she thought she didn't matter, or if he just never told her enough. But the look on her face told him she really didn't think she did.

Maybe he was a coward. In the perfect world, he would recite the speech he gave her last summer in the terrorist camp, once again pledging he "couldn't live without her." But he was not there, and neither was she, and honestly he didn't have enough courage or Saleem's truth serum to confess his love. Beside's things were different now. She was different, and so was he.

All he knew is that he had to break the silence, and words were not in his favour tonight.

"Tony?"Unknown to Tony, Ziva had been staring at him for the past five minutes as he glanced into space. Unknown to Tony, Ziva had seen a familiar look on his face, one she knew all too well. That of fear. "Saleem"

The sound of the Caf-Pow loving terrorist's name brought him back to reality. "Huh?"

"I forgive you." The words spluttered from her mouth, shocking not only him, but Ziva herself. Did she really mean it?

He pauses to look at her for a moment, her eyes swollen from crying , but beautiful all the same.

She feels him observing her, taking in her beauty, but careful not to stare and it is the not staring bit that seems to relax her. The way he looked at her was with beauty, with a slight fear, with love...

She doesn't know whether to kiss him or hit him when she figures out what is really going on.

"You're afraid to touch me. That's why you slept with those women?"

He can barely meet her eyes and it is that moment she realises she is in love. "You need comfort and I can't give it to you."

"Zee-" He is cut off by her lips crashing onto his.

"Kiss me" she mutters against his lips. He tries to object, wants to pull away as he knows deep down that on all levels, this is not what she wants, not what she is ready for, and knows she is just trying to please him.

But as her tongue begs for access he can't help but part his lips.

His tongue slides along her bottom lip as her hands reach for the button of his jeans. It is then he finally comes to his senses.

He places his hand over hers to cease the removal. "Stop"

She glares at him in confusion, not sure as to why he is objecting to her actions.

"It's not what I want," he whispers, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "It's not what you want."

"Yes it is," she responds, raising an eyebrow to question his reasoning.  
I want you to want me." And just like that he pulls her close.

He wraps his arms tightly around her, holding her body against his chest. "I'll always want you, Ziva David." He plants a soft kiss on her forehead. "But until you're ready, I guess I'll just have to wait."

"No more sex with beautiful women?"

"Not unless it's you."

"Right answer" Ziva smiles as she plants one on his lips. He pulls her close and can't help but grin as she whispers into his ear, "Can't live without you, Anthony DiNozzo."

In that moment it seems like his way of words has returned "Won't live without you, Ziva David."

**A/N: REVIEWS ARE LOVE**


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